The Bridge of life

Yesterday I met some of my friends in high school just to have a little trip before I go to the Philippines. And as always I went there with a smiling face despite of the struggles that I currently having. I never really thought this trip was a cheering moment for me.

We met at Myeongdong, probably the most busiest tourist spot not only for foreigners but also for Koreans like us. We went to eat and stroll around shops went to Myeongdong chapel and decided to go to N Seoul Tower. We were hoping to ride the cable car but the waiting time was too long so we headed off to climb the mountain and we were really really exhausted by the time we were on the top. Then we went to Han River where we ate again and where they surprised me with a cake and a hot chocolate. I was really touched on how they put their little efforts into it. After that they were kind of murmuring on going to the “life bridge” which I had no idea of and followed them. That was the moment when I really wanted to burst into tears. I had a whole day of fun but I can’t seem to forget all the problems that I have. I was also in this negative shade that I can’t get out of. But there I was with my problems slowly melting. The bridge is infamous for the rising number of suicidal people. Recently it is called the “bridge of life” because an organization decided to write encouraging words on the lanes and can be read one by one when one is walking along the bridge. I can’t remember exactly what those words were but it sure made me thankful and blessed for all the little things that I have. I have clothes, shelter, at least three meals a day, education, life and healthy body. And here I am wasting a whole good day thinking about problems that can be solved somehow.

I am always trying to be strong for me and my family. Yet I always crumble and fall whenever trials hit me. I get up, but I get up weak.

So I have decided that from now on I will try to stay as positive as possible and stronger than ever. I need to smile and be contented more because life is literally to short to waste your time whining. I hope everybody will be happy too.

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Abrupt endings, Long beginnings.

It’s funny how my life turned out to be in sync with the show that I’m currently watching. I’m on the last few episodes in The Office where *spoiler alert* Michael decides to leave the company to go marry and stay with Holly. He has been working in the company for 19 years and one day just like that, leaves it. I mean I haven’t been in high school for 19 years thankfully, but it felt like it. It makes me wonder why I hated being in high school and being here in Korea when I now grieve for it.

Few weeks left and I’ll be heading to the Philippines to attend university. It frightens me just by the thought of it. Start living all by yourself. In an unfamiliar place. alone. alone. alone.

But the most horrifying thing about college is the money that I will spend. Financial problems have been and will be the biggest challenge in my life. It’s not because I am a big spender or buy lavish things her and there. I am mostly sorry and guilty for my hard working parents. I hate the thought of them working hard to pay for my sister’s budget and mine. That’s why I worked during summer but my ungenerous company payed me less than I was supposed to get.

Long story short. I’m short. I don’t have enough money to buy all the things that I need when I return to the Philippines. And asking my parents for money has always been a big deal for me. Because the problem is, they would give it happily. They can’t even use the money that they had worked for to buy nice things for themselves and still they would give it happily, no questions. That’s why I have shorten my list of the things that I really really really really need to buy.

I wish I will be successful someday and buy them nice things that they want. Rather, ALL the things that they want. Without looking at the price tags just grab and buy. One day I’ll be reading this and smile and look around all the accomplishments that I have. Someday, I will. Because I may be sad with the near ending but I will try to make things happy for this beginning!